Sexual awareness and Identity

SEXUAL AWARENESS AND IDENTITY

Aakanksha Ramkumar

IIPSENG

1313215

            The book is ultimately, Celie’s journey to achieving an identity of her own, both morally and physically as well as sexually. The book focuses on how the women and men in the story want different things from the act- the women want to be involved only when there is an emotional attachment, whereas the men only seek the physical experience and use it as a means of dictating over the female sex. The novel concentrates on sexuality and love, it is about forming attachments and intimacies with individual people rather than the inclination or preference for one gender over the other. Rape is consistently used as a tool to ensure desired or submissive behaviour, making the idea of “love” and “pleasure” a one-sided and rare occurrence.

             Throughout the book, Celie is engaged in sexual acts, yet she is never truly sexually aware of herself. Her first sexual experience is negative and violent.

She is abused by her stepfather and she learns that her body is a mere tool or medium for another person to receive pleasure, she does not feel it herself. This creates a sense of fear that she attributes to the male population on the whole.

“He beat me today cause he say I winked at a boy in church. I may have got somethin in my eye but I didn’t wink. I don’t even look at mens. That’s the truth. I look at women, tho, cause I’m not scared of them.”

This notion continues on late into her life, when she is further abused and raped by her husband, Mr.____. The only time she shares a positive mutual connection is when she sleeps with Shug. The feelings that she experiences, of pleasure and love, heightens the emotions behind it all and she feels like she has had a real sexual experience for the first time in her life. As Shug said, she was a symbolic “virgin” prior to this. This sort of awakening was initiated by the strong woman Shug is, and the ideologies she encouraged-such as forming one’s own image of God as opposed to traditional images and giving her the courage to face Mr.____ and dispute his abuse. This new God of hers indicates Celie’s move from an article of someone else’s care to a self-governing, self-regulating woman. The freedom from all of these ties lets her delve in her very own thoughts and recognize her sexuality, on her very own terms.

            Shug plays a vital role in Celie becoming more sexually aware. For the first time in her life, Celie experiences an attraction towards a woman. Up till now, there was no evidence of Celie experiencing a physical attraction, even when being involved in sexual acts with her stepfather and husband. Celie was attracted to Shug due to her demeanor, which was unlike anything she had ever encountered before. She was a vibrant, resilient, woman who never took anything she felt she didn’t deserve. She was confident with her body and sexuality and inspired this in Celie as well.

            The first important step Celie takes towards noticing herself is when she goes to watch Shug sing with Mr.____. This is when she first finds herself attracted to her but she feels like a disappointment when she sees that Shug only notices Celie’s husband. After this she finally looks at herself and writes her self-opinion in her letters, it is mostly negative. With this move she begins to pay more a keen attention to her surroundings. She starts to notice the weaknesses in Mr.___ such as he has a “weak chin” and wears “dirty clothes” but since she trained herself to remain silent at all times- a survival mechanism she developed- she says nothing.  Eventually, however, she becomes more assertive in her mannerisms. When Mr.____ ‘s father insults Shug, Celie secretly spits in his drink of water. She also learns to speak her mind and express her opinions by, for example, discouraging Harpo from beating Sofia.

“Some womens can’t be beat, I say. Sofia one of them. Besides, Sofia love you. She probably be happy to do most of what you say if you ast her right. She not mean, she not spiteful. She don’t hold a grudge.”

            When Shug manages to convince Celie in talking about the act of sex, her true feelings of her physical self are exposed. She says that she hates sex and attempts to pretend as if she herself is not involved while the act is taking place. She has even convinced herself to try to enjoy sex with Mr.___ only because she knew Shug enjoyed it.

“You like to sleep with him? I ast.

Yeah, Celie she say, I have to confess, I just love it. Don’t you? What is it like? He git up on you, heist your nightgown round your waist, plunge in. Most times I pretend I ain’t there. He never know the difference. Never ast me how I feel, nothing. Just do his business, get off, go to sleep.”

Celie seems shocked by the idea of sex being an act that is “pleasureful”, and is enticed by the idea of it.  Her self- analysis becomes more defined, intricate and pronounced. She experiences a sexual awakening through Shug’s mentoring, and when she calls her “Miss Celie” and labels her a virgin, she feels empowered.

“You never enjoy it at all? she ast, puzzle. Not even with your children daddy?
Never, I say.

Why Miss Celie, she say, you still a virgin.”

The act of her being labeled a virgin by Shug gives her a sense of a refreshing renewal. She feels as though she has been given the chance to start anew. This is through Shug’s reasoning where she believes a woman has truly had sex only when she has felt satisfied or experienced pleasure for herself during the act as well.  Now Celie attempts to interpret or re-interpret her life on her own terms as well. The possibility of recognizing alternatives reaffirms her growing development of self.

            Towards the end of the novel is when Celie achieves her complete sense of independence and self-control. She is hurt when Shug announces that she wants to leave her for a fling she wishes to pursue with a man who is much younger than the both of them, but her acceptance of this fling shows how much she has grown as a person. She is confidence in her love for Shug and in herself, so the temporary lack of Shug’s attention does not bother her. Now, she no longer sees love as an act of control. She is assured that Shug will return and is strong enough to survive on her own even if she were to not return again. Her love broke down many barriers and by this time she had forgiven Mr.____ (it later becomes known in the novel, through Shug, that his first name is Albert) and begins to enjoy his company. This is not because she forgives his past acts but because she sees the change she influenced in him. Even when Shug’s love affair ends and she comes back into town to find herself feeling jealous of the newfound connection between Albert and Celie, Celie consoles her by saying that they often spoke of their love for her.

            This shows Celie’s transformation from a powerless, silent individual to an empowered, courageous woman. She even embarks on starting her own company as a symbol of her self-assurance. She perceives the act of sex as one through which pleasure may be attained and not as an act that depraved her of independence, self-development and progress.

            In the novel, we can see that the author understands sexual orientation as an array of possibilities rather than conflicting extremes. She also pays special attentiveness to the factors driving a relationship. Not only does she substantiate Shug’s and Celie’s relationship on the basis of mutual sexual attraction and intimacy, but also bases it on the foundation of friendship, companionship, appreciation, respect and genuine care for one another.

References:

http://www.sparknotes.com/lit/purple/

Walker, Alice. Colour purple. Orlando: Harvest Book, 1982. Print.